Reducing Stress Through Stoicism
WHY: Stress is bad, period. It shortens your lifespan and makes you miserable while you are alive. We should all strive get rid of as much stress as possible. The Stoics used this technique to eliminate stress and focus on what really matters.
WHERE: A Guide to the Good Life: The Ancient Art of Stoic Joy by William Irvine. This book takes a modern spin on Stoicism, explaining their psychological techniques and advice in a way that makes sense in the world today.
WHAT: This concept is called The Trichotomy of Control. Everything in life can be classified into one of three categories: things we have complete control over, things we have no control over, and things we have some, but not all control over. Examples are: our thoughts (total control), the weather (no control), how well we perform is a sports match (some control). The Stoics suggest ways to deal with events in each category.
Let’s start with events you have no control over. You literally can do nothing to change them so it makes little sense to worry about them. You must CHOOSE to not let these affect you. I cannot change the weather so I choose to not be miserable about it. Like any thought, not worrying about that which we have no control over is a choice. If you cannot change it, choose not to worry about it. Simply acknowledging your helplessness in the situation is often enough to prevent you from stressing about it.
Let’s look at that which is completely within our control. Life is very complicated so this list is fairly short. The only things we can say with full certainty are 100% within our control are our thoughts and our values. These are within our control because they occur within our mind and nowhere else. Again, you must choose to control them. You could let outside forces dictate what you think, but at the end of the day, that is within you control to let that happen. A saying that exemplifies what this means is that you cannot control what happens to you, but you can control how you react to it. That is what it means to have control over your thoughts and values. What the Stoics recommend here is that we choose our thoughts and values so that we reduce stress and bring ourselves closer to tranquility.
Lastly, there is that which we have some, but not all control over. This is by far the largest category. For example, you can’t control your bosses temper, but you can control how you approach him so as to minimize his anger. You can’t control if you win a basketball game, but you can control your level of effort and intensity. The common thread in all these scenarios is that what you can control is YOU and what YOU do. The key here is to focus only on your efforts. This means internalizing your goal, i.e. making your criteria of success about what you put into it. If you say that a successful basketball game is you winning, you are setting yourself up for misery because it is mostly out of your control. However, if you determine success is giving it your all, then YOU are the only person responsible, and thus you have control of whether you succeed or not. It also works out generally that if you do YOUR best with what is in your control, your chances of external success increase. If you play full out in the game, your team is more likely to win. Again, this boils down to the fact that you can only control your thoughts, so you must choose to do so in a way that brings you the most happiness.
Once you ignore the things you can’t control, choose to think only thoughts that elevate your mood, and define success based on your efforts, you will see a dramatic reduction in the stress in your life. Suddenly everything is out of your control, while simultaneously you are doing your best to make the most of what is out of your control. Life is far simpler this way, instead of worrying about every little thing.
My challenge to you is to take stock in your own life of this trichotomy and see how far it gets you. I’m sure you will be less stressed and more tranquil by doing so.
Keep learning and striving to reach your potential!