How to Kill Your Ego

WHY: Ego is a major impediment to your success in life, period. If you believe you are better than you actually are, you are less likely to put in the work necessary to achieve your goals because you think that work is below you. I’ve been there before and often find myself back in that place, but this concept helps me break that pattern of thinking.

WHERE: Ego is the Enemy by Ryan Holiday. If you couldn’t tell by the title, Holiday believes that ego and it’s side effects stand in the way of achieving and maintaining success, as well as rebounding from failure. He details this concept to show that ego is unnecessary, and that one can have confidence without ego.

WHAT: Our ego comes from an inflated view of ourselves, and this view comes from the story you tell yourself. Here is a quick example: without actually doing anything, you tell yourself you are the best in the world at what you do. You may or may not be, but that doesn’t matter. Thinking that you are the best, your ego becomes huge and everything becomes about you and how great you are. The story you told yourself of being so great creates an even greater ego. Reread the WHY section to understand how dangerous this can be.

I want to differentiate the story you tell yourself from your story. The story you tell yourself is always about you and it may or may not be true. Your story, i.e. your WHY in life, must involve a service to OTHERS, though it is usually based on events that happened to you. Another example may help. My WHY/story is that I was a shy kid who would follow the crowd because it was easy. Training in the martial arts helped me develop confidence in myself to be myself so I want to help build that and other martial arts values in others. A story I could tell myself is that this is the noblest of causes, but that would only inflate my ego. Life is not a movie and you are not the main character. Understanding this, and focusing on your story/WHY not the story you tell yourself will help you kill your ego once and for all. It is a fine line to balance, but one end is far superior than the other.

I hope you enjoyed and learned from this. Keep learning and growing, and keep living life to the fullest!